MAGIC TRIP TO MATERNITY

                        MAGIC  TRIP TO  MATERNITY  

To be the parents, it is a science, a hard job, and every day alive experiment with getting some new experience.

 Let's start that amazing roller-coaster trip!

DO NOT BE  AFRAID  OF  SOMETHING NEW.
IT  IS  JUST A PERIOD  OF  YOUR  LIFE  THAT  MIGHT  BE  A  BIT  TOUGH, BUT AT  THE  SAME  TIME VERY  CUTE AND INTERESTING. YOUR  BODY  AND  MIND  IS  CHANGING. THAT'S  NORMAL. IT IS JUST  AN UNUSUAL  FEELING  FOR YOU,  BUT  YOU'LL  GET  USED TO  IT,  DO  NOT  WORRY. EVERY  NEXT  DAY  WILL  BE  HARDER, BUT  AT  THE  SAME  TIME,  EASIER. YOU'LL OPEN  MANY  THINGS,  THAT  YOU  MIGHT  HAVE  HEARD  BEFORE, BUT DID  NOT  GOT  IT FULLY, AS  DID NOT  FELL  IT UP  TO  YOUR  SKIN  BEFORE. SOMETIMES,  YOU  MIGHT  REGRET THAT YOU STARTED  THIS  TRIP JUST AT THAT MOMENT. YOU, MAY  BE, WOULD  THINK  THAT  IT  WAS  NOT  THE  RIGHT  MOMENT  YET. BUT  WHO  KNOWS WHEN  IS IT REALLY  A  RIGHT  MOMENT? THEY SAY  DO  NOT  DO  TOMORROW  SOMETHING  THAT  YOU  CAN  DO  TODAY. AS YOUR  TOMORROW  MIGHT  NEVER  ARRIVE...AND  REALLY,  HOW  MANY WOMAN  THERE  ARE  WHO CANNOT  GET  PREGNANT OR DELIVER  THE CHILD. AND  HOW  MANY  OF  THEM  THERE ARE WHO HAD  SUCH  THE  CHANGE  ONCE,  BUT  THOUGHT THAT  IT  WAS  NOT  A  RIGHT  MOMENT  THEN? 
THEY  SAY  IF  YOU  WANT  TO HAVE  SOMETHING  THAT  YOU  DID  NOT  HAVE,  DO  THE  THINGS THAT  YOU DID  NOT  DO. THAT'S RIGHT. AND, I  THINK,  IT  IS  CONSIDERING ALL THE ISSUES  OF THE LIFE. 
DID  YOU  ASK  YOURSELF WHY YOU ARE  SCARED OF  PREGNANCY AND  MATERNITY,  OR  JUST  SOMETIMES  THINK BETTER  TO DO IT LATER?...
IT'S SOMETHING  NEW. SOMETHING  THAT  WE  CANNOT PREDICT. SOMETHING  THAT  CAN  MAKE  US  THE  SURPRISES,  MAY  BE  NOT  ALWAYS THE  BEST  ONES. AND SURE  IT  IS  A GREAT  RESPONSIBILITY. AND  THIS  TIME,  NOT  ONLY  FOR  YOU,  BUT  ALSO  FOR  ANOTHER PERSON. THAT'S  SCARE. WHAT  IF  SOMETHING  WILL  NOT  GO  ACCORDING  TO  THE  PLAN? WHAT IF  COMPLICATIONS WILL  APPEAR AND  YOU''LL BE  NOT  READY FOR  SUCH  THE  CHALLENGE? WHAT IF  YOU''LL NEED  SOME  HELP,  AND THERE WILL  BE  NO  ONE TO  HELP IN  THAT MOMENT? IF THERE WILL BE THE LACK OF FINANCE? SPECIALLY,  IF  THE  PREGNANCY  WAS  NOT  PLANNED, WE MIGHT  DEEPLY  THINK THAT WAY MUCH.  BUT  JUST FOR  A  SECOND REMIND THE  EXPERIENCE OF  YOUR GRANDPARENTS. REMIND  THE EXPERIENCE OF  PREVIOUS AGES, WHEN  THERE WAS NO CIVILISATION  LIKE  WE  HAVE NOWADAYS,  OR THERE WAS  THE  WAR RUNNING ON! AND  WOMEN  STILL USED TO  DELIVER! IF  NOT,  WE  MIGHT NEVER EXIT HERE NOWADAYS. 
SO,  MANY  QUESTIONS WITHOUT ANSWERS  CAN  APPEAR. FACE TO  IT  BRAVELY. NOT  ALL  AND  NOT  ALWAYS  CAN  BE  PREDICTED. MAY  BE EVEN,  NOT  ALWAYS  IT  SHOULD  BE  PREDICTED,  IT JUST HAVE  TO  GO  LIKE  IT  IS.  AND  IT  SHOULD  NOT  STOP  YOU.  ARM YOURSELF  THERE WITH POSITIVE MOOD, PEACE AND CALM. THERE  IS  NOTHING  THAT YOU  CAN NOT HANDLE  ON  THERE! AND,  PREGNANT  WOMEN APPEAR TO  BE EVEN MORE RESISTANT,  THEN  NOT  PREGNANT ONES. IT'S CREATED  AND  SUPPORTED BY MOTHER  NATURE. AND  PROBABLY,  THIS  IS THE  UNIQUE  THING  THAT  MEN  CAN  BE JELOUS ABOUT. AND  IT  IS  THE THING THAT MAKES MEN  AND  WOMAN DIFFERENT: THAT POSSIBILITY TO GIVE  THE  WORLD  THE NEW  LIFE...
SO,  GO  AHEARD! EVERYTHING  WILL TURN  ON  RIGHT, THE  WORLD  IS  BUILD  ON IT! 

KIDS UP TO THE WAVES

UP TO  THE  WAVES

The twelfth month was not only with good events and holidays for us. As we have met some problems there. The baby became very active and needed really to keep the eye up to her.

For example, I noticed that the baby started to show the interest to the electrical sockets. I immediately covered them. They recommend to close it with the special protection of the plug. But, I thought it was visible and very easy to remove. So, I covered it with the scotch. It was invisible and felt like more safe there, and more hard to remove.

The first two weeks it worked . But one day my baby arrived there to the electric socket, and found the end of the scotch and started to remove it. As I was always watching her, sure I arrived on time. But, it was a big surprise and even shock for me there. How such a small creature still could find the end of the scotch that had been fixed in the way that was even invisible for me. Since then I was never leaving my child. And even if was going to the toilet, I was taking her with me. Even the shower I used to take only when she used to go to bed. As only when she was sleeping, then I was feeling save.

Another bad experience there was at the lake. We were talking a bath in a hot day. I was close to my baby. And, we both staying in the water. She was as usual peacefully playing with the stones there. And, suddenly, she has eaten the stone.

When I saw that she was bringing the stone to the month, I have done the attempt to stop her. But everything happened so fast: one second , or even less and the stone there was already in her mouth. I started to fight with her, tried to open the mouth. But till the time I did it, the stone already got into the stomach. I got very scared. The people at the lake, who had the same experience with their child when their baby was small, even wanted to bring me to hospital. But we still call the ambulance, as it could arrive faster then the normal car could transport.

So, in stead of the planned day at the lake, where we just arrived like an hour before, we finished it in the hospital. It was nice that the stone was not big and did not block the throat. We changed it just to be sure while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. But, there was just the risk that the stone could have the sharp ends. And it could hurt her inside. They did the x-rays, but did not find anything. Only since second time they found it and calm me down that it was a smooth one. They let me go home , without any withdrawing it, but just gave me the order to heck, if it went out during the three days or not. And, if we  still had problems they told me to come back to hospital.

And in a few days we got another disaster. While doing the bath the baby ate a piece of the sponge. Small one, but still I have heard it could be dangerous. So, just not to risk I went to the hospital again. They told me that really a small piece could not create problems with digestion. But, if she has eaten some soap while washing, it could create some stomach disbalance. So, she still had to take some medicine, wait for a while in the hospital to see how it would go on for a few hours. Uff, a hard month!

But, except the bad moments, we had some pleasure, too. For example, the first travelling up to the yacht. And how much impressions there was when we were jumping up and down when the wave was arriving there!..

And, at the end of the twelfth month, we celebrated our first birthday party! First cake, first presents, first photo album...Happy birthday , my girl!

KIDS LIKE SUPER POTATOES

SUPER POTATOES

At the age of eleventh month the baby started to show much interest to the glasses. With the heard shaped glasses on, she looked like a rock star. Actually, when doing shopping, Margaret already had the desire to touch and try on so many things in there.

At this time, we had our first trip to my parents. Being all the time at the distance from them, I used to send them many photos. And, when we arrived, they did as the surprise of printing three hundred box photos there.

The potatoes at my mother's place were really very tasty for her. My mother has her own recipe. This kind of potatoes, I remember, I used to like very much when I was the child, too. It was the one that has more butter and milk, then potatoes. Actually, the child was not used much to a fat food, but she was big enough and we tried. She asked for more later.

And with my brother my baby was completely fell in love. When I was a child, we used to  stay with my brother all the time almost together. He was a kind of a baby-sitter for me. He knows how to attract attention of the children and he really love them. The funny faces  he was doing there for the baby, she used to laugh much at. And some of them, as much as  she could, was trying to repeat, too.

In total, it was a month of baby's parties in the house of my friends. The same year when I  was pregnant , another two more friends of mine have delivered. And the difference of the  age there was one and three months. So, they used to have much fun together. I remember a funny episode when my friend's child and mine were fighting for pacifiers there. They were watching at each other and tasty sucking pacifier. But, for my friend's baby the one appeared nor to be enough. And the baby girl started actively to remove my daughter pacifier. The last one was truly confused. This insistent of the one girl and the expressions of the face of another one, it was really entertaining to watch.

The next days the party was moved to the lake. It looked different, seems like, to play in the water in the pool and in the lake. More freedom of movement, more interesting things around. My friend's children and my child appreciated it much.

And, the same month, we did the first time the seaside swim, too. We celebrated my birthday party there. The waves touched gently the body of the baby. And was it taking away her breath each time when arriving the new one wave.

CAN YOU SHOW SUCH THE HARD-WORKING FACE?

 CAN YOU SHOW SUCH THE HARD-WORKING FACE?

The next month was a month of travelling. It direct and not direct meaning of that word.

Margret started her active travelling not only up to the floor, but also the places around. Specially, she liked to get to the shelf down the table, and when she got the decision to got  down, already was feeling the danger, and was calling the help to put her down.

And when we were going out, already did not want to sit down and watch around in the pram. She already asked to put her down and make her free to crawl around.

And when we were going out, already did not want to sit down and watch around in the pram. She already asked to put her down and make her free to crawl around.

She started to help with shopping. Or better to say, to unpack the bags after, when arriving  home. I used to place things on the floor. And, if there were some fruits or vegetables like potatoes, oranges, water melon, the baby was rolling it down the floor with great pleasure.  

The first love to the cosmetic started to appear at that early age, too. We were using the vaseline or pamper's cream, and she was examining these cans and playing with them! And, the lady's love to the bags appeared in the early age, too. The things to withdraw and  to put back there was one of the best occupations for her. Almost whatever she was doing,  the face started to have such the hard-working expression that you had just to see this. If you do not have such the hard-working face, but want to convenience someone that you are working hard, you had to take a master class from this ten months old baby girl.

At the excursions she was very playful and happy. Each time playing with the small books  or fliers that they used to present there. But, she was not keeping the attention at to the things for a long. So, with the tour groups, it was not a good idea to inquire the world, as she used to disturb others. After five minutes she used to start to cry, calling to bring her out to the new place.

And the first trip to the seaside we also have done at the age of ten months. The sun was not very strong and it was less then 20 plus. But, it was the first sun at her life, so I used the protection cream. I started with the powerful one 30+. They suggest also to cover the head with the cap. Caps and hats she adored, in spite of that other children do not like them very much.

The beach was cold. And people mostly were dressed, but we had much fun. The stones that the baby used to find there, she was watching like the real treasure, like the precious ones. They were different colours, different shapes and sizes and it was more cute to play with them, then with toys, seems like there. She was crawling there up the stones. It remained me the duck of the famous cartoon was clawing among the coins there. And, if to cover her had with the density, the baby looked like another character of the one more cartoon about naughty girl Masha.

The same month there was the birthday party of her father. She was participating much with buying the present and arranging the party. Margaret was like a little princess with a nice baby's dress. And I do not know who was more happy, the father or the baby, to see the balloons and the party cake at the table later!..

NENTH MONTH: LITTLE COSMONAUT ON START

NENTH MONTH:

LITTLE COSMONAUT ON START

And, when the legs became more strong and confident, we started training to do the first steps. At this period the baby was not strong enough to do it. But, it was visible that she wants to. When I used to keep her with the hands vertical and this way let her feel the surface of the ground, she was so happy. A smile immediately was appearing up to her face and she actively was starting to move the legs. She wanted, but did not know how. And, probably, it was hard to find the balance and to understand how to do it. So, for this occasion, I got the walking training thing. I Fixed it up the door and was placing Margaret inside. The baby was putting the legs up to the floor and this way she was standing up. And, when she was losing the balance and the legs were disattached up the floor, the child with a stretching effect was like flying a bit up, or moving left and right. They say the cosmonaut, before going to the space , have the training similar. The machine is moving them in different directions. Exactly this it has remained me then, and I called her "Little cosmonaut".

They suggest to do the massage to the children up to the legs in this period. It makes the  circulation of the blood better, and helps to start to walk faster. We used to do the massage up to the entire body almost every day. The baby seemed likes liked it very much. The impression of peace, calm and even smile was appearing there. The massage is  also very good to do up to the stomach. It helps with the gas that can collect there. The smooth movement clock-wise for five minutes during one-three time per day is a good profilatic of such the problems to appear. How to check if your baby cries because of gas there? Just press lightly up to the stomach. If it feels hard, like the ballon with air inside, so there is such the problem. Also they recommend to put the baby up to the stomach position as much as possible. It helps not only to the stomach activity of the baby, but also to train her skills to keep the head up, to train the musculs of the neck and back and to start to sit down faster. The babies gym also was very good for co-ordination development. They make the hands and legs stronger when baby tries to reach, to push or catch some of them. In this period I also tried to play with her already, throwing forward her a toy, for example. And she used already from time to time to respond, throwing me back. And to improve the babies sleep, I used to use the music toy that changed the colours. It had the music of sunrise with the white colour up and the sunset music with the  blue colour.

WE ARE SITTING UP CONFIDENTLY

WE ARE SITTING UP CONFIDENTLY

At the eighth month there was no memorable news and changes. All the skills that the baby used to get during the previous months just were improving and fixing better. And the movements were getting better co-ordination...

The baby, without any help behind, started to sit up to the bed or chair. And how funny she was when playing and actively crawling, she was getting tired next second and was falling down, like a suck, asleep, showing the ass up.

The baby was growing up well without any health problems and matching to the standards of weight. And my health condition was getting each day worse and worse. Well, sleeping  two-three hours per night continuously since pregnancy time and till then, and all the day long to be busy with some stuff, was really exhausting. Sometimes, I had the opportunity still to sleep, because the baby was not waking up much. But, it used to happen often, that once being woke up, later it was hard for me to fall asleep. And, when I was already felling like falling asleep, I used to hear suddenly my baby was waking up again. It was a hell. I used to ask the doctors what to do. And they could not suggest me something definite. Just gave me advice to use camomila and to omit stress.

But what disturb me even more, there was the pain in the back. Well, the doctors used to say that to feel pain in the back during the pregnancy and after the delivery it was normal. But, after the delivery, the pain had to pass in a six months approximately. And it was already eighth month. More over, I sometimes used to have some spasms, like a crab. Specially, I got once scared, when the situation like this has happened in the bath room once.

I banded down and was washing the baby. And suddenly like a stream came through my back bone. The pain was so strong that I could not band back to a normal position. And like this I was frozen for a while with the baby. Lucky, nothing happened. But it really made me scared. As it could happen any time when I was bringing the baby from bath to the room, or any other place. And, if it used to catch me like this, with such the power, I could not move for a while, I was scared that it could happen that the baby would fall down the floor.

More over, very often I used to feel also the hands frozen. And almost every next day I had the head ache. I used to check my back bone. They found out not only the wrong curves, but also two hermias there. One of them was up the neck and another one was close to the place where the epidural anesthesia has taken place before. I needed a serious treatment. The pool, the particular exercises and the medicine. When, I saw the list of pills, I was shocked. Approximately ten items, and there was the schedule, which I have to  follow. It was forbidden for me to carry the heavy things. Even with the baby I had to be careful, not to carry her much up to the hands . And, if still brining her up the hands, when  standing up, I had to omit to put all the weight in front, and to try to bring her up putting the weight left or right. They said that if I do not take care about me and do not keep to the rules and treatment , I probably would need the operation. So, my advice is always keep control on your backbone, before and during pregnancy and after delivery.

FLIRTING TONGUE

FLIRTING TONGUE

And at the age of seven months and a half we got another small, but memorable event here. There was the first tooth! The baby stated to be more irritating, crying more and waking up at night. Some children can have also the temperature to go up at that period. But, lucky we skipped that hard moments without this. But we got much saliva all around the mouth. And all the times the hands were reaching the mouth to touch something there...

I stopped already to sterilize the bottles. It was useless already, as all the time the baby was touching everything and then putting hands into the mouth. It was not easy to follow her. And who knows which infections could the baby get this way, for example, in the public transport or a park. Better not to risk with such the small baby, they used to tell me. So, at this time I was travelling with her with a package of the wet towels into my pocket.

At this time, not only the games of the face there were, but started also the very active training with the tongue. She was so playful and even flirting with that particular shaped tongue outside.

...I remember a funny occasion that happened once when we visited our favourite Sunday lunch place. That day we arrived and like usual wanted to take the dish that we liked and always used to take. But we did not find it in the menu. We were very confused. And when the waitress told us that they removed it from the menu, we very surprised and upset. But was nothing to do and another one was ordered. While I was waiting for the arrival of food, the baby also took the menu into the hands. For the long time she was examining it. She watched there with the expression of confusing, frustration and surprise up to the face. Her face was expressing the question "Why?" Or better to say in stronger mood "What a fuck?"

This month was full of other active events, too. There was the half of the marathon and another marathon where her father was participating. We had to fly and to be among lots of people. In deed, the baby did the first fly at the age of three weeks old. It exactly was the period when the ears of the baby become strong enough to resist the pressure of the plane. That say the doctors and permit to fly up. Many babies still might cry in the plane because of the same pressure. Margaret was travelling each time without any problems and sleeping well in the plane. But before all the trips there short ones.

And then there was a time to fulfil a long time six hours non-stop trip. I was worried a bit how it would be. But she was a well-done! And seems like did not meet any discomfort. Everything was like up to the earth surface: eating, playing, sleeping. Did not cry even once. Only one thing that later was changed that she continue to live her normal rhythm of  life. And it was hard as there was a six hour difference at the new place. But, we over lived it on the fifth day already..

AND THE FIRST DATING AT THE AGE OF SIX MONTHS

AND THE FIRST DATING AT THE AGE OF SIX MONTHS

The sixth's month was saturated with the new achievements. To the random walks round the city along the river and the park, it was added the activity in the pool. When the baby was almost five months and a half, she touched not only the water in the small baby bath like before, but the big pool, too.

Well, before going to the pool, we did a small repetition in the normal bath tube, too. Filling the tube-bath just at the bottom and putting the baby up to the stomach, I let her feel free there. She immediately got what to do. The movements of legs and hands were remaining the truth swimming. And she was moving forward in the bath. Just one thing she had to practice then: to keep the head up, while moving. And this she got after a few tries, too.

But, when Margaret has met face to face with the water in the pool, at first she was scared and started to cry. I prepared a water swim seat for her, so she to feel more relaxed and confident into the water. It took half an hour she to get used with the new environment. I was slowly waving her, pushing the ring. We were driving among other children there, and the smile finally appeared up to my baby's face. And, later she started to play with the water, slapping with the hands up to the surface. Few next times, when we were arriving to the pool, at the beginning the same story, with being scared, was repeating. But it was for five-ten minutes only, and later all was ok.

At this period the baby started to participate in the communication with other babies. The next week after the pool visit, we went out for the "first dating".

My baby looked very impressed with the new experience. It was so entertaining to touch her new "boy-friend".

They say that the new generation of the babies is a digital one. The first tries of my baby to use the computer and tablet there were at the age of less then six months old. We tried to watch the cartoons then. The eyes were very concentrated and she tried to touch the buttons, too. The attention was not concentrated for the long, approximately five minutes, but still!..

The girl was already strong enough to sit down in the chair. So, at our table we got one chair more. At that time Margaret tried for the first time almost adult food : some vegetables that I boiled up to the fire and fruits that baked in the oven.

They say that the new generation of the babies is a digital one. The first tries of my baby to use the computer and tablet there were at the age of less then six months old. We tried to watch the cartoons then. The eyes were very concentrated and she tried to touch the buttons, too. The attention was not concentrated for the long, approximately five minutes, but still!..

The girl was already strong enough to sit down in the chair. So, at our table we got one chair more. At that time Margaret tried for the first time almost adult food : some vegetables that I boiled up to the fire and fruits that baked in the oven.

And our first six months finished outside, up to the sun with a small picnic. "Happy half birthday party", - said we then presented her a teddy-bear...

HERE IS MY HEARD, MY LOVE! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

HERE IS MY HEARD, MY LOVE! 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

At the fifth month the baby became really playful. With great pleasure she was playing with me, when I used to make her ticklish to laugh. Or, make her " to ride the horse" in the lying down position up to me. Or, just when I attracted the attention with the toys. All was  great. The baby also demanded much attention. The partner did not used to find much time for her, pity. I saw how happy she was when the father was playing sometimes with her. But, it was so seldom. When he used to stop, she used to get upset much, these emotions also were visible up to her face..

At that time I started to give her already some extra food, not milk only. At the beginning, I preferred to include into her daily meal, something that was already ready done. Not because it was easier and faster. She really was eating very little and to loose that much time to cook, and the baby eat just a few spoons, for me it did not have much sense. More over, that this food for babies was not that much expensive. And, if I used to buy ten cans of one hundred millimetres each one, it use to cost ten pounds and it was enough for one week.

But, still if you do not wish to buy a ready done babies food, but to cook your own one, then better to start from using the apple first. They say it has the juice that it is good for the digestion. Don't give the fresh one, if it is one of the first times, but cook it in the oven. Then smash well with the spoon, or do with the mixer. The next days it is possible to give another vegetables : carrots, potatoes, beetroots, zucchini... All cooked for a long  time and well smashed. Important to try one vegetable or fruit at the same time and at the same day. It's for extra security, in case the child's body does not accept it and getting the allergy. Not guaranteed it would happen, but still better not to risk. In this way, you will be sure that you know exactly which products to give and which not to give to.

And here the Santa Valentines day has arrived. I presented to my princess the hand made heard. My partner was jealous. I have seen it in this eyes. Since the time I was pregnant, I noticed he was worried how it would be when the baby would appear. Once, he even told me that after the baby birth, I would have no time for him. It was not truth. You always find time for whose whom you love. But, it was how he thought. And, my case was not unique. Men, if they tell you this or not, they very often have the scare to be abandoned when the baby appears. They see a child like a kind of competitor. Later, it can even create the problems with the relationship. Sometimes, I used to feel that he was feeling exactly like this. Like a child, he did not understand that the love I have towards the child was different one kind, then towards him like towards the man. And, more over, that the child was a small one. She needs much attention at that period. And I saw his jealous eyes while he was doing the photo of me and the baby with that heard...

A BIG BOSS

A LITTLE BOSS

...My daughter was very active since the early days. We decorated the new year tree and she was actively participating in it. She was smiling when checking the new year tree lights there. The same way like with great interest she was watching the decorating bombs sparkling when putting them up to the fur-tree...

Once when I saw my child's expression of the face, I got the opinion she will be a leader, a  boss in her life! So small, and so concentrated and serious. Hand up to hand, and watching  me like to give me the order. It was exactly Christmas time. Lucky, I have caught it with the photo camera. So, I will have the opportunity to show her how smart eyes she used to have since her early childhood. In general, in this period I preferred always to stay with the phone close, to be able to catch the funny moments of the life and cool expressions of the face! It's so cool to watch these memories after the years passing.

I was very pity that I did not take the operator, who would do the tape-recording of my delivering. We agreed with my partner that he would do some records. But, he didn't. He said for him it was too ugly pictures to tape-recorder... Since then every single moment I could catch and tape-recorder. I was doing it by my own, deciding to do a movie later on.

Margaret liked to inquire the world. At the Christmas time we also brought her to the skating ring. It was a kind of party there with dance on the ice and music. She was watching it with such a great interest that hard to describe, it was necessary to see. The lights up to the tree, the holiday music, seems like all was impressing her much...

She was dressed like a lady. The T-shirt of the Christmas list up and a big flower up to her head. It was her first Christmas in this world. At Christmas night we brought the baby to the parents of my partner. She was participating in the holiday with us with all the power. Staying in the pram in front of the table till the time we did not finish the meal. Later playing with us. And fell asleep only after 23.00 at night. A bit missing the presents to open, but next days she enjoyed them much.With large and wide-opened eyes she was watching the things that we used to show her the next day. The colourful clothes, the toys creating noisy..But the special love Margaret got to the baby's gym. How funny she was moving legs and hands there, trying to reach and catch the things up to her!

And at the New Year Party we weaponed with the Santa Claus hat, took some fire works and went to the lake to have the party. But on our way there, we still dropped into the restaurant. She participated with us in the meal time, was listening to music, watching the illuminations round the streets and fell asleep only at 23.00 o'clock, before the fire work. Well, all the next party she missed up, sweetly sleeping and hearing nothing from the mess that was around..

WATCHING THE ANGEL

WATCHING THE ANGEL

I think I am lucky to have the child with the face that spread much emotions like this. Each next day she these emotions were just developing. Many people were saying that her  face was beautiful. And specially because of the emotions she was spreading. The baby was the true angel. Funny, happy smiled much. Even when sleeping, with that face she was the angel...

The baby was reacting the world around much. At the age of two months and a half we did the first selfie. I don't know, if she recognized herself there. Or may be she thought that it was another baby there. But, it was really funny to watch how attentively she was watching there in the mirror! And, five days later she did the first effort there to crawl. She turned up to the stomach position by her own, and started to do efforts to crawl along the bed.

By the way, the social services that visited us, to check if all was right, used to give me some advices about baby, too. They said to be attentive and do not leave the baby alone in the place that could be dangerous for her. For example, in the bed that was not protected around, and she could fall down. As, even if she was not moving at the moment, it could happen any time. It is also very important to pay attention how the baby sleeps. For example, they suggested me to put the baby to sleep into the sleeping envelope. Because the baby can remove up the normal blanket and this way close the face. And they know the cases when babies used to die because of that.

By the way, if the child is the first one in your family, the social services can be a very picky one and ask many questions. I remember, exactly like this happened to me. I was also a strange in that country. More over, some days before, we used to visit the walking in centre to do a random checks for the baby. And in the corridor I had a discussion about the baby was dressed. I said it was cold, and the baby has to have more clothes on. And my partner was protesting against this in the angry mood. So, when the social services arrived, they remind me that moment, too. I just answered that we had different points of view about brining up the child. They asked me how I feed the baby, how I keep it up to my hands, if the pampers are changed often enough... They had a look about the conditions of the apartment we were staying in. There were questions about my private life with my partner, too...

KEEP THE BODY RELAXED WHILE BREAST FEEDING

KEEP THE BODY RELAXED WHILE BREAST FEEDING

The worker of that centre of mother and child checked the position of my body while feeding the baby. In the hospital they did not tell me anything about that. And this woman said it was important. As, if to keep the baby in the wrong way, the milk via channels was circulation badly. And, it could be the reason why the child was not getting enough milk, even if it was collected enough there. I had to keep baby more in front, in the way so the baby did not do efforts to get to the tit to be able to suck. I had to put the pillow around my waist, or under the hand. This way my body and hand were also relax and in  comfort. That way I did not keep the baby with the power of my hand. As they said it could also influence the quality of breast feeding. And the last advice that I got there, there was to do the massage of the breast. It had to be dome with the two hands clock-wise movement for five-ten minutes a day. They said that it made the circulation of the blood better. And also it helped for opening the milk channels there, in case they were too narrow or blocked. They suggested me to try first these actions first. And then, if it would be not working, to give powder milk.

I arrived home and tried what they suggested me in the mother and child centre. It did not work out for me then. I tried their methodic for the next month. Mean while, I asked the suggestion of one of my friends who was a mother, too. She said that she was using one machine to withdraw milk from her tits, the breast pump. That tool had the stronger sucking power, when just the baby was sucking the milk out. So, it could withdraw the milk more properly, if it was still remaining there. That way it was possible to control also how much milk the baby drank each time. And also this way the life of baby was easier, as to suck from the bottle was always better, then from the tit.

Using the breast pump was working better for me. Seems like I got more milk this way to arrive, as the baby quickly and happily was finishing her bottle, and immediately, without crying, was falling asleep. But in a week or two the old story repeated. So, I still tried the powder milk. Seems like the child liked it. She was finishing with the same pleasure that bottle.. And I did not notice any problems with stomach, like strange poo or bloated stomach.

THE FIRST EMOTIONS UP TO THE FACE OF THE BABY WERE SO FUNNY

THE FIRST EMOTIONS UP TO THE FACE OF THE BABY WERE SO FUNNY

The next month was more interesting, then the first one. As the baby started to demonstrate some emotions there. It was very funny to watch that. For example, the expression of the face, like the surprised one I have noticed when Margaret was one month and three days old. And the first smile she presented me at the age of six weeks already! The same way like the first kiss...

And even the baby bottle she was already keeping with 2 hand at that period. And this time when she was drinking milk, what a concentrated and hard-working face she used to have. And even when she played with me, the emotions of her face used to change : deep thinking, being interested, funny laughing ...

Except the funny moments like this, the second month the feeding problems appeared. Baby started to wake up more often and more often to ask for the tit. And even when sucking the tit for a while, she was suddenly stopped, and started to cry. The same there was when I was offering her the another tit. I got the idea that she was not getting enough milk there. I thought it was time to give her  some extra powder milk. But my partner was crazy about giving some supplement like this without asking the specialists opinion. His mother suggested to give to the baby a bit of honey. And it was a big mistake. And it was the first and last time I listened to advice of  my partner and his mother or his family in my life. Never in your life give the honey to a child under one year old. It can create botulism, and the child can die. Well, the occasion is one in a million. But, do you want to win that "lucky lot?

And waiting for the opinion of the specialist was too long. I was not in the mother land country, but in the country of my partner then. So, I did not know clear how the system worked and whom to ask questions. I went to the walking in centre clinic for the advice immediately. I was hoping to meet the child's doctor. I queued for one hour and a half. Finally, I met the nurse who just had a look at my child, did not answer any of the questions considering feeding, and re-directed me to the mother and child centre. It was at  the other end of the city and the meeting was possible only the next day.

There I have lost another few hours. As we were waiting all the group of mammies to arrive, a very long time getting acquainted with everybody. They were going to have some  classes there that was not considering my topic at all. I had politely explain to the leader of the group that I was in a hurry. I needed some help in a fast mood. As it was already the second day I was looking for the answers for my questions. I was not sure already, if I could get it in that place, too. I needed to know if yes, otherwise I had to continue to look for.

SANCTIFICATION INTO MOTHER

CRYING PLANT PERIOD

And what about the baby, I was very busy then. I not only washed, but also ironed all the things. They say it prevent the infection to appear there.

The baby still had the belly button not fixed well. Every time when I was removing pampers, I had to disinfect it with alcohol, and put the protective cotton up. Till the time  the belly button was not closed yet, it was not recommended to wash the baby in the baby bath. So, the first bath my daughter took twelfth days after the delivery.

The same proper sterilisation there was with baby bottles. I used to keep it every time after using in the boiling water. The baby was applying for food every two hours or even less at daytime and night. Eating, sleeping, reacting for the light legs and hands moving.. By joke I called this period "Crying plant" period.

The baby started to see the world around at the fifth day after delivery. And to show her the world as soon as possible, we brought her to the yacht exhibition. It was two weeks after the delivery.

The weather was not perfect there. There were many people and enough noisy. But she was perfect. The baby seemed like did not feel any discomfort, as cried very little. And seemed like she had fun with us. I saw she just watching in front of her with eyes opened wide.

So, like this passed the first month of mine... 

WELCOME HOME NEW BORN!

WELCOME HOME NEW BORN!

That morning I woke up happy. It was the one that I had to go out of hospital. Since the evening before I have my bags already packed. And I was waiting just the results of my baby's final exams, and the last checks of me. Sure, again it was done with a few hours of delay. And, finally I was signing there the "good-bye" papers. The baby was in the pram already and ready to do her first trip outside!

It was already months like I was not eating in normal way. After the delivery I was ready to eat whatever, so hungry I had got. So, the first thing what I have done, I went to the restaurant to have the meal. As much as I ate that day, I did not remember, if I ever had done in my life before! And it was the first time I did not get any discomfort after! It was just "Wow".

At the door of the apartment there was already waiting "Welcome home new-born" sign. I have prepared it in advance. Up to the pram shaped picture I sewed up the name of my kid "Margaret"...

It was an unusual sensation to stay home already not in two, but in three. Staying in two before, it did not feel like to be a family. Just a couple. And nowadays the things were changing...

Till the end of the fourth day my breast started to change much. The colostrum was replacing with the breast feeding milk. It started to create me much discomfort. The breast increased and became very hot. It was painful to touch the tits, too. And when I was breast feeding, it was getting to the point that I even cried.

So, the first thing that I have done after the arrival, there was to visit the pharmacy. They subscribed me a kind of the cream that I had to put and massage up to the tits and round them every time after feeding. Indeed, it was helping partly. Because many times it used to happen that I just finished feeding, put the cream up and the baby in five-twenty minutes woke up again and started to ask for food. This way the cream did not work out yet, as she was licking it away too fast.

Another painful point still remain in the place where they cut and sewed me. I had to take the pain killers for one more week yet. I had to put and massage the cream exactly at the place that had been cut before. And to do like this at least five times per day. It not only had to reduce the painful feeling, but also to help to fix the sew threads. Other wise, if they would be not gone by their own, the doctors had to remove them in hospital. So, somehow slowly, with the tears up to the eyes, placing the mirror in front of me, I was massaging. And hoping not to visit the hospital any more.

One more thing that I had to work at, there was the belly. Lucky, after the delivery the skin  was not wrinkled. But it was still big like approximately at the fifth month of pregnancy I had got there. The doctors said that I cannot visit the gym for a month, as it could hurt the place there the surgery was done. I bought the belt for the after delivery period. I tried it ,  but I used to feel some pulsation pain at the place of surgery twas done. And the doctors  did not suggest me it, as it was not good for the blood circulation. I was worried that later it would be hard to bring the belly in the right order, if to leave it like this for that long. But they calmed me down that, if I was breast feeding, the muscle contraction of the belly would be done naturally then. And every day my belly would get to the right order.

THE NEXT DAY WAS HARDER THEN THE PREVIOUS ONE

THE NEXT DAY WAS HARDER

THEN THE PREVIOUS ONE

That sleepless night destroyed me completely. The eyes was hard to keep open. The pain was terrible, so was I could not go to the toilet even. One after one the doctors were arriving to check something and to ask questions. I was not able to answer or to ask something , and had to wait for the partner to arrive. It used to make me very irritated. I was thirsty, hungry, the head going round...I was feeling myself in a hell again, like the days before.

When my partner arrived, the nurse showed both of us how to change the pampers for the baby, and how to close it in the right mood. My hands were still very weak and a bit frozen. So, I could not do it in a proper mood yet.

The nurse also showed me how to keep the baby while transporting. I studied then that one hand has to be under the head to fix it. And, another one under the back and butt have to be, so not to hurt it. It always was possible to put it up to one hand along and to try to the body. By the way, the last position was very similar to the one that I feed the baby while sitting up. It was hard to put on the clothes for the first time, too. As the baby was moving all the times hands and legs. But, together with the nurse we handled it!

The baby was mostly sleeping and disturbing with the cry only when it was hungry and had the pampers dirty. What disturbed me more, it was how to reduce the pain. Because the pills were not helping, and the pain the next day was just terrible. It did not let me to go neither to toilet, nor to sit down up to the chair. Specially, when the doctors were doing  some checking there, and they were doing them every few hours.

Another point that I wished immediately to know, when I would be able to be free from that place. I expected that not much. I have heard about some mammies to departure home the next day after the delivery. But, in the hospital they disappointed me much. As they said, in spite of all seems ok, I would be not able to leave home at least during next three days. The reason they were not letting me to go home fast, was not me, but the baby. They  need to do all the necessary checks that could not be done in one day. For example, the child could get a yellow skin. And, if it happens, it normally appears up the third day after  the delivery. It was their responsibility, if something happens outside the hospital. So, they  did not let me to leave away and to come back to hospital, if I notice just something strange later.

So, all the next days were approximately the same. I just was getting more depressed of that place...

AND EVEN TO THE TOILET IT WAS NECESSARY TO GO WITH THE BABY

AND EVEN TO THE TOILET IT WAS NECESSARY TO GO WITH THE BABY 

I felt were tired and wished to rest. The doctors said that I have a few hours to sleep. Then  they would bring me a baby for the first feeding.

I shared the room with one more mammy there. And there was her two days old child, too. The cry of the baby did not let me to fall asleep. Being exhausted, and starting to feel the pain again, it was very irritating to stay like this.

Few hours have passed and they brought me the baby. My eyes were completely closing. I could not sit down the bed. So, the nurse put the baby close to me. And showed me how to  keep her close to the tit. Later I had to put the baby back into her own bed. I was not used to have a deal with the new borns. And since then the baby had to stay with me. So, they told me to call them back with the bell, if I need the help. And they promised to arrive later to show me how to change the pampers. There, in the baby's bed, there was such the note-book where I had to write down the hours when baby ate, did pee and poo. So, they could control, if with the baby all was going fine.

After the dinner, the doctors gave me the pain-killer, checked me and let me to take a shower. Honestly, the pain-killer was not working much. And, it was very painful to take the shower. Sure, I let the baby outside the bathroom. And, as I got to know and it surprised me much, it was not correct. Well, I thought the hospital room is a safe place. But they explained that for security reason I have to take my baby with me even to the toilet.

Honestly, I did not feel any confidence to keep my baby up to the hands or to move. I was afraid to hurt her. The first night I did not change the pampers by my own. To do this for me and my baby the nurses were arriving. I did not have enough colostrum, seems like, because the baby was crying. So, they also transported it away to feed up with the baby bottle milk. That night I still did not managed to fall asleep, as my baby and the baby of my room-mate on were crying...

AFTER THE FIRST KISS

AFTER THE FIRST KISS

As soon as I have given the first kiss to my child, the doctors took it away in a few seconds into another room. I have seen how they cut the umbilical in front of me. And, then, they had to disinfect it. They also had to take away all what had been collected in the  mouth of the new-born, to wash it and to dress it.

At the same time one more doctor continue to be busy with me. As I was shaken because of pain, they immediately gave me the extra doze of anesthesia. And the same quickly they started to clean all inside me. And to sew the part of the body that they cut before. The last one activity I still was felling first, as it took time anesthesia to start to work again.

The pain was passing. But, I still was shaking and felling myself very weak. More over, even if I try and did some affords to stand up, it did not work. My body was like paralyzed. It was the influence of anesthesia. Two doctors barely moved me from a delivery place to the special bed to be able to transport me further.

I was left in the corridor for a while. The only one thing that I wished then there were the wet towels and the water. I did not eat anything since morning. But after such the shock I did not feel even the hunger. Later the doctors call my boy-friend to arrange the papers. And in 45 minutes of total expectation I was transported to the room finally.

PUSH IT AWAY, PUSH IT AWAY STRONGER!

PUSH IT AWAY, PUSH IT AWAY STRONGER!

Finally the doctors arrived, asked me if I was ok and if I was ready, and approximately at 12.30 we started. Since morning time I did not eat anything. As before the delivery I forbid to take food. Still in the morning they have washed me inside with the enema, and I  had to be clean all that time. Only the water was permitted.

The first step there was to put the epidural anesthesia tube inside the back bone. I did not expect that would look like that. And I was already ready to cancel my apply for that kind of anestesia. The doctors calm me down that they do the local narcosis first. So, I should not feel pain, but just discomfort. Important there was not to move at all while they were doing narcosis. I had even to keep the breath in certain moments. Knowing how sensitive I was to the pain, I still asked the medical stuff there for the extra insurance to help me to block my body and hands. They asked me to relax, but I couldn't. I still felt some pain, it was mixed with the unpleasure feeling like someone drill inside you. But it was still possible to resist. I had just to pay attention when lying down not to press down that place,  because there was a needle.

And later in both hands they inserted the tubes. One of them there was for putting the stimulation that force the delivery. And another one there was for the epidural anesthesia medicine.

The doctors started with the stimulation medicine. And they were waiting the contraction to develop and increase. I always was asked about my sensations. It was a bit hard and unusual to communicate. As I did not know the language of the country where I was delivering, and they did not know mine, too. In the entire hospital there was not possible also to find the person who talked English, too. So, my partner was the one who translated  for me and for them, as he was a native speaker. I was very worried about the misunderstanding that could happen and this way to create some problems during the delivery. But it was nothing to do with that.

In one hour I have felt the changes in my body. The sensation remind me again the red days arrival. Annoying, non stop pain has appeared in the down part of the stomach and backbone. It was increasing slowly. The doctors all the time asked me the level of pain, calculation from 1 to 10.

When I reached the moment that the contractions were getting long and too painful, the doctors started to put the anesthesia into my veins. Immediately, I felt like some warm to arrive inside into my body, and the fingers of the hands started to froze down. One hand was more frozen, then another. And I did not feel it up to the elbow. They said that it was normal.

It was important to control the level of the pain. And, this way, to control the developing  of the delivery. At the same time they were checking the level of opening of the uterus. They controlled, if the uterus activity goes synchronous to the contractions pressure to prevent some damages there. And, also, if the baby there was in the right position to be able to exit without damages, too. Round my belly there was the apparatus that control the activity of the baby inside. This way I could hear the beating of her heard, too.

Finally, the doctors constanted that the uterus is opened enough the baby to exit. They asked me to get ready. As I would have to push it away soon. They explained me how to do it and how I had to breath during the pushing.

I could not see anything what was going there. But I still could be orientated about my sensations. To maintain this feeling, the doctors have stopped for a while with anestesia. The level of my pain increased very much. It was so painful that I could not stop screaming. But, they explained me that it was the last step of delivery process then. Soon  it would be finished. I had to stand the pain for a while. As if they provide me with anesthesia, I would not feel the power of the push, and it could hurt the baby.

I was doing pushing up to the command. The doctors were calculation from one to three. And during this time I had slowly to take the breath into my breast. When they were saying "three", I had to breath out the air inside me, and to do the push out. It was hard to be concentrated, and to follow them. I was distracted all the time with the pain spasms. All the time I was worried that I would not fulfil any of the command on time. And what bothered me most of all. It felt like I was not able to do the push in the right way. It felt like that I was that exhausted that I could not concentrate on doing that effort strong enough. I asked, if the baby was exiting. They said that not yet. I was worried  that I would not be able still to push the baby away. They calm me down that the uterus was not open completely yet.

So, I had to listen to them attentively and to try to repeat correctly. The worst thing for me there was that I had doubts if I was doing correctly. I have been hearing what to do. But, I was not sure, if I describe the problem with pushing away correct, so they could give me the right advice. The pain was increasing. And there was more and more hard to control myself. I complained that I could not stand that pain any more. And they answered that they see already half of the heard, so it almost finished. To help me a bit, and to omit the natural torn apart of the body, they cut me down a bit. At that moment it seemed like the anesthesia was completely gone. And, it was one more very painful moment. Few more seconds, and I felt something warm and slippery to exit. I was completely covered with the sweat and was shaking because of pain. I have heard the first cry of my new-born baby. The smile appeared up to my face, despite all these sufferings. They put that covered with blood dirty creature up to my stomach... Welcome to our world, my baby. It was 19.35!