PUSH IT AWAY, PUSH IT AWAY STRONGER!

PUSH IT AWAY, PUSH IT AWAY STRONGER!

Finally the doctors arrived, asked me if I was ok and if I was ready, and approximately at 12.30 we started. Since morning time I did not eat anything. As before the delivery I forbid to take food. Still in the morning they have washed me inside with the enema, and I  had to be clean all that time. Only the water was permitted.

The first step there was to put the epidural anesthesia tube inside the back bone. I did not expect that would look like that. And I was already ready to cancel my apply for that kind of anestesia. The doctors calm me down that they do the local narcosis first. So, I should not feel pain, but just discomfort. Important there was not to move at all while they were doing narcosis. I had even to keep the breath in certain moments. Knowing how sensitive I was to the pain, I still asked the medical stuff there for the extra insurance to help me to block my body and hands. They asked me to relax, but I couldn't. I still felt some pain, it was mixed with the unpleasure feeling like someone drill inside you. But it was still possible to resist. I had just to pay attention when lying down not to press down that place,  because there was a needle.

And later in both hands they inserted the tubes. One of them there was for putting the stimulation that force the delivery. And another one there was for the epidural anesthesia medicine.

The doctors started with the stimulation medicine. And they were waiting the contraction to develop and increase. I always was asked about my sensations. It was a bit hard and unusual to communicate. As I did not know the language of the country where I was delivering, and they did not know mine, too. In the entire hospital there was not possible also to find the person who talked English, too. So, my partner was the one who translated  for me and for them, as he was a native speaker. I was very worried about the misunderstanding that could happen and this way to create some problems during the delivery. But it was nothing to do with that.

In one hour I have felt the changes in my body. The sensation remind me again the red days arrival. Annoying, non stop pain has appeared in the down part of the stomach and backbone. It was increasing slowly. The doctors all the time asked me the level of pain, calculation from 1 to 10.

When I reached the moment that the contractions were getting long and too painful, the doctors started to put the anesthesia into my veins. Immediately, I felt like some warm to arrive inside into my body, and the fingers of the hands started to froze down. One hand was more frozen, then another. And I did not feel it up to the elbow. They said that it was normal.

It was important to control the level of the pain. And, this way, to control the developing  of the delivery. At the same time they were checking the level of opening of the uterus. They controlled, if the uterus activity goes synchronous to the contractions pressure to prevent some damages there. And, also, if the baby there was in the right position to be able to exit without damages, too. Round my belly there was the apparatus that control the activity of the baby inside. This way I could hear the beating of her heard, too.

Finally, the doctors constanted that the uterus is opened enough the baby to exit. They asked me to get ready. As I would have to push it away soon. They explained me how to do it and how I had to breath during the pushing.

I could not see anything what was going there. But I still could be orientated about my sensations. To maintain this feeling, the doctors have stopped for a while with anestesia. The level of my pain increased very much. It was so painful that I could not stop screaming. But, they explained me that it was the last step of delivery process then. Soon  it would be finished. I had to stand the pain for a while. As if they provide me with anesthesia, I would not feel the power of the push, and it could hurt the baby.

I was doing pushing up to the command. The doctors were calculation from one to three. And during this time I had slowly to take the breath into my breast. When they were saying "three", I had to breath out the air inside me, and to do the push out. It was hard to be concentrated, and to follow them. I was distracted all the time with the pain spasms. All the time I was worried that I would not fulfil any of the command on time. And what bothered me most of all. It felt like I was not able to do the push in the right way. It felt like that I was that exhausted that I could not concentrate on doing that effort strong enough. I asked, if the baby was exiting. They said that not yet. I was worried  that I would not be able still to push the baby away. They calm me down that the uterus was not open completely yet.

So, I had to listen to them attentively and to try to repeat correctly. The worst thing for me there was that I had doubts if I was doing correctly. I have been hearing what to do. But, I was not sure, if I describe the problem with pushing away correct, so they could give me the right advice. The pain was increasing. And there was more and more hard to control myself. I complained that I could not stand that pain any more. And they answered that they see already half of the heard, so it almost finished. To help me a bit, and to omit the natural torn apart of the body, they cut me down a bit. At that moment it seemed like the anesthesia was completely gone. And, it was one more very painful moment. Few more seconds, and I felt something warm and slippery to exit. I was completely covered with the sweat and was shaking because of pain. I have heard the first cry of my new-born baby. The smile appeared up to my face, despite all these sufferings. They put that covered with blood dirty creature up to my stomach... Welcome to our world, my baby. It was 19.35!